By reading my blog it would seem as if my days are often filled with Rainbows and Unicorns. The truth my friends is that I have many days where I stress or wonder ‘why me?’. I haven’t posted much in the last week because I have had that ‘why me?’ feeling. I’ve been down in the dumps. I have not felt the inspiration to write on my blog – and for the most part I am a very positive person. I feel embarrassed to say that I’m not happy right now. I’m stressed out about my college classes and money. I was recently informed that I only have enough financial aid to cover my classes for next semester, but not the semester and a half left after that. This means that I have to pay out of pocket or find a personal loan. I ruined my credit at 18 – so this is going to be fun- NOT! This goes hand in hand with the money part. Until I get my degree, I am going to be stuck in a job making a smaller amount of money than I would once I graduate. All-in-all this whole school/money thing is holding me and my family back. I just need to pull it together and think of other options! In the long run money doesn’t matter anyways. As my husband often tells me we are rich with love for each other and our boys – and we should be thankful for everything we have! Though sometimes I’ll admit it feels better to be upset, better to feel sorry for yourself, and better to cry it out. I’m the type of person who tries to hide my ‘negative’ emotions. I put everything to the back until I just can not take it anymore and I burst. I burst with emotion and I cry – cry more – and then when I think I get it under control I could instantly cry at any moment. I cry when I’m mad or when I’m sad. This isn’t the greatest quality because if I’m mad and then I cry people just see me as weak. Anyways enough about my blubbering tears. I really have not cried this week – I have just felt like crying. Throughout the past few days I’ve had to thank pinterest for these….
And yes – this too shall pass. My boys and I are headed to the beach today so this mommy can soak away her worries. Maybe we will go to the beach again tomorrow too because after all….