How Moms Watch Scandal

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Here I sit trying to watch a DVR episode of Scandal. I’m two minutes in and I have already pressed the pause button. I could place a bet that I’ll press it at least 10 more times before this episode is finished and that doesn’t count the fact that I fast forward the commercials. Between my three year old screaming because her brothers locked her out of their room and my six and eight year old boys arguing about how much each one is going to clean in their room I can’t hear a word. All I want is to get lost in the life of Olivia Pope for two seconds. Her clothes, her apartment and her white hat life. Then I look down to my one year old breastfeeding and am reminded that I am already home from my errands and back in my #momlife shirt and sweats by 4pm on a Friday afternoon. I am certainly nothing close to an Olivia Pope but I did manage to go to the bathroom in a Target bathroom stall while holding a 25 pound sack of potatoes that goes by the name of Emmett and occupying a three year old from opening the door today. Have you tried holding a baby in a 2×2 foot area while also pulling your jeans back up with one hand lately? I’d say it was the ultimate gladiator move.

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I made it a record ten more minute before pressing pause for the second time. Although if I had to guess it was paused for at least 7 minutes while Delilah, my terrible two who is now a three year old, had a breakdown because I told her she couldn’t watch YouTube. YouTube people! She uses the voice search option to find Taylor Swift and Katy Perry songs or playdoh reviews. There is something so wrong with this world. She has been in rear form all day and I’m not sure I can handle another twenty-two minutes until my husband gets home from work. I try to keep my patiene with her but some days I can’t win for loosing. Someone give me an Amen!

I saw on social media that yesterday was National Wine Day so maybe I should celebrate today. Sounds like a winning plan. It’s almost 5 and it is a Friday so it would be totally acceptable, right?

While I am waiting for Delilah to stop sobbing over nothing I have to ask if my kids are the only ones who take 3 hours to clean up a small pile of toys. I helped my boys clean the bulk of their room and left them with a pile of literally 2 dozen random toys and a couple of clean socks. They have both come to tattle because the other isn’t cleaning, yet the mess is still the same as when I left them. I often walk in to find them playing which I am okay with but the rule is that they don’t get to come out until the room is finished. That is when they get creative. They mysteriously start having overactive bladders, practice their best efforts of tip-toeing to the kitchen then sneaking snacks back to their room and the best one is when they remember they have something in their book bag that can’t wait on a freaking Friday afternoon. Any other time I will realize I forgot to check their back packs late Sunday night before school on Monday.

Jake just walked in… I mean my husband just walked in. That ought to keep the kids occupied for at least the next 15 minutes while they bombard him with hugs, kisses and exchange a million and one questions about each others day. I’m sure this afternoon’s conversation will also include telling on one another for not cleaning.

Someone tell me this is how they watch Scandal too!

Enjoy,